Thanks

And it hurts seeing someone you love change into something you don't even know anymore. Well it’s all history already but somehow people just like to reminisce. We’re all humans anyway. I am so sorry but I haven’t been able to even write down how I was feeling recently. I wonder where to start and how to describe. This whole saga just suck big time!!!

My trip is confirmed and I’ll be flying off for a long time!!! I’ll bring my camera!!! So who’s coming to send me off at the airport?! I hope that I won’t be forgotten here. I hope to see all those who loves me at the airport ya?!

To that someone out there who’s been accompanying me throughout this painful saga, thank you so very much. Words can never describe my gratitude and the things that you’ve did for me. Thanks for being there whenever I needed someone’s presence. I know you missed my monkey faces and laughter but I really do hope that I can make one soon. I will.

Ayu, you’ve been such a sweet darling to me too. Thanks for your kind advice. I greatly appreciate them. Thanks for chatting with me on msn during my trip. We shall meet up real soon. Probably sometime next week? What do you think?

See, I am stuck here no knowing how to continue…

Going off…

PS: I will never forget what you did to me.

Ballet Photoshoot

说好的幸福呢?

Ever felt so blue that you can’t even feel how you are feeling at all? Times when you can’t even write down your thoughts thinking that it will make you feel better after writing. I wonder where I am heading to. I am so numbed to all these heart wrenching feelings I think I must be immune to them from now on.

I wanna go away. For a long long time. I wish to hibernate!!! But I still trust God. I love him. Just that I am down now. I need time alone with no one but God himself. He has indeed made me a stronger person. Praise the lord.

I am suffering alone emotionally in a so near yet so far place.

Speechless, I am stopping here.




你的绘画凌乱著　在这个时刻

我想起喷泉旁的白鸽　甜蜜散落了

情绪莫名的拉扯　我还爱你呢

而你断断续续唱著歌　假装没事了


时间过了　走了　爱情面临选择

你冷了　倦了　我哭了

离开时的不快乐　你用卡片手写著

有些爱只给到这　真的痛了


怎麼了　你累了　说好的　幸福呢

我懂了　不说了　爱淡了　梦远了

开心与不开心一一细数著　你再不捨

那些爱过的感觉都太深刻　我都还记得


你不等了　说好的　幸福呢

我错了　泪乾了　放手了　后悔了

只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转著　要怎麼停呢

Cross Road

Soon you’ll see that life is just another movie. I woke up to my ringing tone from my mobile phone. As the tone stops, I realized how quiet the ambience is. Utterly scary cuz it’s under bright daylight with sunlight shinning into my room through the blind. I took a deep breath… Another day…

Once again I came to a rough patch in my life… another episode of slow and long sufferings. What’s new anyway?! But it’s really okay though… I am sure this will brace me up to be a stronger person! Been so lost and all without directions, I came to a cross road. Not knowing which path to take. Well I guess I would just stagnant here for a little longer before I decide where to go again.

Tonnes of opportunities came knocking on my door recently. I have offer to even perform oversea. So lost with all my emotions and thoughts, I don’t think I will be making any decision yet. I wanna have at least another 14 days to rot, sob or whatsoever before I start thinking again!!!

There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past… there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future. Simply because they CHOOSE to let you go.

PS: Sometimes people should learn how to be humble. You don’t know how? Eat humble pie!!!

Trial And Error

I am left to fight my own battle from today onwards. Alone and afraid. I was shocked to hear what you’ve told me but it’s okay. I’ve always learnt my lessons the hardest way!!! I am still lost since I heard that sentence you’ve sprouted but its okay. God give you free will to choose what you want in your life.

I’m trying to find a place to breath. Trying to solve this puzzle called life… Trying to wake from this nightmare and I'm trying not to fail. It has never been easy for me, you knew it!!! You wouldn't even look at me at my worst... so why should I give you the time of day at my best?! There's nothing left to keep hoping.

You know, the most difficult phase of life is not when others don’t understand you... It’s when you don’t understand YOURSELF... If you think you always understand, don't expect others will, because we are all made with different points of view and people were meant to argue, we just have to accept the fact that we cannot please everybody!!!

Most of the time trials are easier if you have someone to share it with, but sometimes there are things in life that is better to be faced alone, not because you choose to be alone, but because it will be much better for everybody around. It's not too bad to give yourself some reservations away from the world outside, it only gets bad when it becomes your way of living and it affects the way people see the real you and judge you for it.

Well, what is there left for me to say now anyway? Congratulations!!! You’ve just proved me right in what I always think. You are the last person that I think will do this to me. I will not force you either. Thank you anyway. You’ve just taught me another lesson. Lesson learnt!

PS: Sometimes the people you fall hardest for just aren't ready to catch you.

I'm not a girl, not yet a women.

Certain days I just wanna lie on my bed and not wake up. I just have to drag myself off my bed recently. Everything seems meaningless. A slap came to me greeting me a big welcome to this realistic cold world. I’ve yet to even brush my teeth since I woke up 3 hours ago!!! I was still lazing in my room on my bed till now.

I didn’t manage to catch the meteor shower last night as I was performing. Sad!!! I so much wanted to wish on a million falling stars. Wishes don’t come true, I know. But maybe wishing on countless falling stars may grant me at least a single wish of mine.

What have I been thinking lately? Where am I going to? What am I suppose to do? What do I want in future? What are my plans? What do I want now? What can I do about it? What is right? What is wrong? I ponder…

I wish that I am that naïve, happy go lucky girl that I used to be. Then I was foolish, incautious, and silly but am definitely full of love!!! Reality slapped me hard and I gotta learn my lessons the hard way and that makes me a much tougher cookie now. But I yearn to live once again in those days when I am so down to earth and full of love… days when I don’t think so much. But those were the days!!!

I’m not a girl, not yet a women.
I used to think
I had the answers to everything
Mmm but now I know
That life doesn’t always go my way. yeah
Feels like I’m caught in the middle
That’s when I realize

I’m not a girl
Not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I’m in between
I’m not a girl

There is no need to protect me
Its time that I
Learned to face up to this on my own
I’ve seen so much more than you know now
So don’t tell me to shut my eyes

I’m not a girl
Not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I’m in between
I’m not a girl

But if you look at me closely
You will see it in my eyes
This girl will always find her way

I’m not a girl
I’m not a girl don’t tell me what to believe
Not yet a woman
I’m just trying to find the woman in me, yeah
All I need is time
Whoa, all I need is time...
A moment that is mine
... that’s mine
While I’m in between
I’m not a girl
Not yet a woman
Not now
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I’m in between

I’m not a girl

Ooooh, not yet a woman




PS: Isolation….

Spaced out

Had the whole day of photo shoot with Martin from Holland on Sunday and It was great. The photo shoot started from morning all the way and damned I was tired but it was all worthwhile. The best photographer that I’ve met so far. We took more than thousands of shots and it was fun. Modelling is fun fun fun!!!

I know I haven’t been updating or writing my blog lately. Just plain busy or either at a loss of words to express. Finally I came to a state where I don’t need people to understand, to believe, to trust, to have faith, to pity, to embrace and to love me. I quoted this for a valid reason.

In actual fact, you can’t force people to understand, to believe, to trust, to have faith, to pity, to embrace and to love you. It all comes to you when the second party made up his/her decision to choose to understand, to believe, to trust, to have faith, to pity, to embrace and to love you. I don't know what to say anymore. I've lost all words.

I am not going through any heart breaking relationship although it sounds like it is but I swear that it isn’t. I am just plain depressed. Over whatever that happened and over what I’ve came to realize. I am hurt. No one can help me but myself. I feel so cold and empty inside. I know it is ok to feel depressed sometimes BUT I just want to stop feeling depressed ALL THE TIME.

Guess I need time on my own to recuperate. I don’t want situations to get any worse. Probably absence will make the heart grows fonder. In the meantime I just wanna embrace some time alone to myself. I will be fine. I hope. It’s hard enough to be what you are, harder to be what you’re not!!

So sick of being the way I am…Nobody understands as much as they say. If I'm not doing anything right, why ask me what's wrong?! It'd take much too long.

~ She laughs and smiles ~
~she giggles and claps ~
~inside she cries and weeps~
~as her barriers collapse~

PS: So I say… F_*k DEPRESSION!!!

Perth Day 9

Perth Day 9

Hillary's Boat Harbour

As usual, the sun was so bright that i can't get my eyes open.

Me, Winnie and Jasmine


Jasmine took this footprints in the sand.

This is beautiful!!!

Why my face like this?!

We were there for 2 weekends and it was a fruitful experience. It's always good to spend time with your family members. I am frequently learning and picking up new things on my way. Understanding that life is really unpredictable.

PS: I know I'm crazy at times but I will always be there for the ones I love, no matter what!

Perth Day 7

Perth Day 7

Posing outside my brother's room

Synergy Park

I know you can't see from here but the water is Turquoise in color.

My boots

My family

We placed the camera on a tree and shot this!!!

Kings Park

Pink flowers so pretty!!!

Me and my brother

Check out the view

Look at how happy my mum was... she loves flowers!!!

That's me and my Papa!!!

The bed of yellow flowers!!!

We went to Fremantle!!!

We had Fish and Chips!!! Damned it was ex!!! A packet of ketchup cost me $1.70 Aussie Dollars!!!

Perth Day 5

Perth Day 5

Can you see the sun shining throught the trees? Beautiful!

I bet you can't see those little flowers in yellow sprouting from the ground.

UWA

This is a huge tree!!!

Pink flowers

I love pink!!!

I love these background

Perth Day 4

Me and my mum

Taken at UWA

The River

Me sailing?

I can't open my eyes cuz the sun is shining into my eyes

Blink!!!

Man, i love these trees

L-R(My brother Nick, Winnie his girlfriend, Mum and Me

Papa, Winnie, Mum and Me

This is my FAVORITE PHOTO!!!

The big mosquito that tried to suck my blood through my leggings!!! My brother caught it!!!

The fruit from a tree outside the house.

The Indian ocean... how nice

But it was darn cold!!!

Winnie and my youngest brother

Perth Day 3

Perth Day 3:

We decided to have steamboat at home and it's fun especially in a western country. The weather is so cold, it was so perfect for steamboat. We drove to some mart and only manage to get these.

They bought a coffee maker machine at home.

Not so ready...

That's better



All of us squeeze into a car...

Our steamboat ingredients, Chicken, beef...

Fishballs, meat balls, mushroom balls, tofu, crabstick, cuttlefish balls

Lettuce so fresh

Golden mushroom

Prawns...

Our dessert... big strawberries!!!

Look how big it is!!! My brother is holding on to it!!!

Perth Day 2

Today is day 2 at Perth. Woke up darn early like 7am and it’s like f_*king freezing early in the morning!!! Don’t know how many degrees!!! The atmosphere’s damned dry too. Makes my dehydrated face crack. Lips too!!!

How I wish I can upload all my photos together with my post now. I can’t. You see, Australia’s different from Singapore where we pay for a price and get unlimited access. There’s limited band width. So I guess if I manage to upload all my photos, guess both my brothers and sister in law no need to use the internet for the whole month!!! Have to be considerate. No choice, just save all my daily entry into Microsoft Words.

We went to Perth Royal Show today and it was so great. It’s a totally different experience for me. It’s a fruitful experience. There’s so many things to see. Saw all the champion animals like dogs, cats, chickens, ducks, birds etc etc. Seen wild horses too!!! Since it’s a big carnival there’s rides and games too. Didn’t dare to take those scary rides but played a couple of games though. Won myself a nice pink bunny anyway. ^_^

We spend the whole day at the carnival and the best of the best of this Perth Royal Show is the fireworks!!! It was so damned magnificent, beautiful, wonderful, awesome, pretty, incredible, unexplainable, magical, artistic, bright and the list just goes on!!! =) The fireworks is just directly above me. Damn I tell you the feeling was as though there’s a meteor shower falling right onto my face. It was nothing like our National day’s fireworks. It’s much much nicer and duration was longer… Like say twenty minutes?! About there.

I can’t help but to tell my family members that we should go there again tomorrow!!! Heeheehee… I’ve caught them on videos but it’s so much nicer in real life. This experience will be in my head for the rest of my life. Never forget, never ever erase!!!

We drove up to see the city lights after the carnival. Guess I still couldn’t get over the whole fireworks thingy in my head. After seeing the fireworks, nothing seems to be more beautiful than that. Nothing!!! We had some Chinese food for dinner in some Hong Kong style restaurant in the city.

Last but never the least, we got home after 12 midnight!!! I’ve got no idea where we’re going tomorrow. But I guess I don’t have to wake up so early like today… My mind is blank for now… so I shall end my day 2 here.

PS: Fireworks fireworks I love you…

Perth Day 2:

At home before leaving for Perth Royal Show... I am all ready!!!

Me, Mum and Nick my youngest brother.


Outside the house.







Just in front of the house... the beautiful garden.



Papa and Nick.



















Finally, Perth Royal Show!!!

This doggie look so fierce but it was so funny when i sat down beside it, it started to lick my face non stop!!!

Okay, finally!!!

Look!!! It's sniffing my head!!!

That's not a real baby, but it looks so real right?!

Check out this beautiful pink pram.

That's a kitty cat that looks like a leopard!!!

That's ice cream!!!

Look what i've won!!!

Me and my brother.


Funny buttcheeks shorts!!!

I will upload the fireworks video soon.

Perth Day 1

Hi all, i am back finally... ^_^ How's everyone doing?? I've brought so many things back here to Singapore and I'll be selling it here on my blog. Yes, i have the Tresemme Curling Lotion which i raved so much about!!! Limited stocks so email to order before it run out ya. =) I have apparels from Australia as well!!!

Perth Day 1

So here are my photos:

At Changi Airport before flying off

That's Winnie, my youngest brother's girlfriend



Touch down at Australia finally!!!






The garden outside our house



Check this out

That's the house we stay here in Perth...

My dad

Yoga?!

Me and my brother. He's as fair as me!!! Haha...

Today is day one at Perth. We reach home about early evening. Didn’t sleep for the whole of yesterday when I was in Singapore. Yea, insomnia gets the better of me. I am down with high fever anyway. How nice right?!

Being here in Australia just reminds me of the time when I was still in the U.S. I love States a lot. What I love most about Australia is that I am able to have a full view of the clear blue skies without high rise building blocking my view. Not like Singapore.

Well, me and my family members went downtown to the city for some food and shopping. Didn’t buy anything yet. City is pretty much like Singapore… but nicer. Caught a few guys street dancing and it’s damned cool!!! I enjoyed watching them dance.

After dinner we head home to rest early cuz we’re going to the Perth Royal Show tomorrow. It’s gonna be a very big event. Had a quick shower and it’s a really fast one. Climate drop too much at night!!! So now here I am after my shower in the room writing my thoughts of today. Getting ready for bed too…

I better do… Good night. =)